Personal / Wellness Dev

The New Adulthood

Requirements of Adulthood

 

This is a key fact that must be reinforced over and over in order to change civilization itself: There are dozens of ways to stay a child, but there is only one way to become an adult. Once you understand this, you will realize that most of the modern world, that most of modern civilization, is a complex sophisticated system built to keep us as children.

What are the requirements of authentic adulthood?

  • Conscious awareness of your long-term purpose and heroic impact in this world.
  • Ability to rationally explain why your daily activities are the most aggressive and feasible path to your heroic purpose.
  • Constant assertive aggressiveness in pursuing your purpose.
  • Constant dominant leadership in imposing your purposeful world view on others.
  • Self-compassion and self-empathy in giving yourself love and support during the more challenging times of your purposefulness.

While the requirements of adulthood are few, they are incredibly difficult, because there are dozens if not hundreds of ways to stay a child (outlined below). In fact, every day, I seem to find new methods, types, and worldviews that basically keep us as distracted children.

 

The Categories of Childhood

 

  • Distracted Child: The distracted child must always be engaged by some activity, media, entertainment, hobby, work, or project, without any real conscious knowledge or concern for the long-term outcome or goal of these distractions. The distracted child must stay distracted since it is easier than the challenge of long-term purpose.
  • Attention-Seeking Child: The attention-seeking child does everything for the attention, praise, and validation of others, without any conscious awareness of the long-term purpose of this praise and attention.
  • Grandiose Child: The grandiose child finds an identity, projects, accomplishments, work, status, adventures, and creations that are as great and amazing as possible, without any real conscious concern for the long-term purpose of these grandiose accomplishments.
  • Serious Child: The serious child may seem obsessively serious and purposeful, but when questioned rationally, the serious child has no conscious long-term purpose. The serious child acts serious in order to act like an adult and avoid actually committing to a long-term conscious purpose.
  • Free Spirit Child: The free spirit child lives a life of free love, creative expression, and spontaneity since these are easier than committing to a long-term conscious purpose. The free spirit child may speak of peace, but is actually unwilling to tackle any large real-world challenge to affect long-term purposeful peace in the world.
  • Idealist Child: The idealist child will use a smoke screen of ideas, arguments, visions, and ideals to mask the fact that this child is not truly acting in any feasible way to bring about a long-term purposeful world. The idealist child, like the free spirit child, will be an expert in talking about a long-term purposeful world, but when questioned rationally, they are not acting within a feasible plan to bring about that life and world.
  • Artist Child: The artist child learns to waste most of their creative energy on small meaningless projects instead of focusing that creative energy on an authentic long-term purpose. The artist child may believe their art is making the world a better place, but if truly questioned rationally, they will have no authentic conscious plan on how their daily life is directly creating a better world.
  • Elitist Child: The elitist child takes their status, prestige, and elitism very seriously, and their status is far more important than their conscious daily purposeful thoughts and actions. The elitist child may claim to support purposeful causes, but will never fully commit their status and resources to a conscious long-term purpose. The elitist child often wastes humanity’s resources on purely status-seeking expenses instead of rational long-term purposes.
  • Tyrannical Child: The tyrannical child always needs to be in control and dominate others, however the tyrannical child never uses that control and dominance for conscious long-term purpose. Instead, the tyrannical child is insecure in their power, and must constantly prove their power and watch vigilantly for threats. True power, dominance, and authority comes from leading others with long-term purpose. Insecure power, for the tyrannical child, keeps the child paranoid and anxious, since the child has no conscious backbone and security of a plan.
  • Traumatized Child: The traumatized child keeps themselves hurt, weak, and traumatized in order to avoid the intense challenges of long-term conscious purposefulness. While the traumatized child may have been seriously hurt in the past, they would rather keep the wound open and hurting than just let it heal and move on towards their purpose. When animals or tribal man encountered trauma, they healed and moved on because they had to be purposeful. Modern man has the luxury of staying hurt and traumatized, when we can simply heal and move onto bigger purposes.
  • Addicted Child: The addicted child relies on a chemical, sensual, or ritual behavior that can be repeated daily to stay numb or distracted from any conscious long-term challenging purpose. Addictions can be alcohol, weed, hard drugs, sex, video games, compulsive fitness or exercise, masturbation, spiritual rituals, compulsive socializing, etc. Often the addicted child will give up one addiction such as alcohol but then switch to another such as exercise or spiritual rituals. While some addictions are more harmful to the body, mind or society than others, addictive people will simply find new addictions.
  • Competitive Child: The competitive child prefers to obsessively compete and win instead of taking a step back and thinking rationally about long-term purposefulness. The competitive child may compete against others or themselves over accomplishments that help humanity, but when questioned rationally, the competitive child cannot feasibly explain why their accomplishments are the greatest possible deeds they can perform towards their purpose.
  • Mindful Child: The mindful child, like the free spirit child and the idealist child, will be an expert in talking about how states of mind, enlightenment, personas, authenticity, psychology, wellness, self-expression, maturity, responsibility, etc can lead to a better more purposeful life and world. Yet the mindful child is not an authentic expert in consciously rationally explaining why their daily activities are directed at the greatest possible purpose they can have on earth, with their life. The mindful child usually lacks assertiveness and aggressiveness in their actions towards a greater purpose. The mindful child will create a smokescreen about passive types of authenticity, enlightenment, experience. Authentic leaders do not sit around being mindful, authentic leaders are too busy authentically leading others.
  • Caretaking Child: The caretaking child uses the excuse of taking care of others as a distraction from committing daily to a larger long-term purpose. The caretaking child usually attaches to a tyrannical child, a traumatized child, or some other type of child that needs a lot of praise or support or help. Both enter into a toxic codependent distraction relationship, both playing a game where the weakness and the caretaking becomes their main life purpose. The caretaking child claims they cannot commit to a larger life purpose because they would feel guilt about abandoning or no longer supporting whoever they are taking care of. Yet their guilt is really a smokescreen where the hurt person they’re caretaking gets angry or sad, like a child, when not taken care of. Beneath the fake guilt, the caretaking child is actually ashamed they are too weak to leave the codependent relationship.
  • Adrenaline Child: The adrenaline child needs to constantly seek or experience an adrenaline high from sports, sex, closing sales, celebritydom, etc because adrenaline is their addiction and distraction from conscious long-term purpose.
  • Identity Child: The identity child adheres dogmatically to one social / cultural identity, playing into each trait, behavior, and stereotype of that identity, because adhering to an externally defined identity serves as an excuse for individually defined purpose. This could include racial, ethnic, gender, socio-economic, regional, cultural, or professional identities such as hipster, vegan, feminist, yogi, priest, etc. These may be real identities and they may have good intentions, yet one must find an individual path (and not a typecast path) towards one’s conscious individual calling on earth.
  • Cynical Child: The cynical child may doubt any vision, goal, or ideal. The cynical child may be hyper-critical of any flaw or infeasible component of a plan. The cynical child may defuse a goal or purpose by over-analyzing its motivations or daily steps. While doubt and analysis are useful, the cynical child over-uses analysis in order to avoid having to seize an authentic life purpose and act daily towards that purpose. The truth is that the authentic self always has a purpose. The cynical child avoids listening to their own deep purpose, since true purposefulness is challenging, since true purposefulness requires planning and acting in an imperfect world.
  • Pluralist Child: The pluralist child does not want to lead anyone else since others may have opinions or preferences that are different from oneself, and “everyone’s preferences are valid”. The pluralist child fails to attain one requirement of adulthood: the assertiveness to impose your own values, plans, and visions on others as a mature leader. The pluralist child uses “everyone’s preference is valid” as an excuse to avoid the challenge and confrontation of inspiring others or imposing on others your deep life purpose.
  • Rebel Child: The rebel child opposes any type of authority, even one’s own system of rules. The rebel child succeeds in escaping wrong or inauthentic values and systems, yet the rebel child offers no values or systems of their own. This is because rebelling helps the child escape from bad systems, but the rebel only knows how to escape, not how to create. The rebel child stays a rebel in order to avoid the hard work of creating an authentic life plan and purpose.
  • Intellectual Child: The intellectual child is a type of identity child wherein in any situation, the child relies on being the stereotype intellectual in order to gain status and respect, without any real long-term plan or purpose. The intellectual child, like the idealist child, is an expert in talking about purpose and plans, but unlike the idealist child, the intellectual child rarely creates anything meaningful and impactful in the real world.
  • Comfort Child: The comfort child is an expert in becoming numb with comfort in order to avoid the discomfort of hard work towards a life purpose. The comfort child is similar to the traumatized child in that both see conflict and hard work as hurtful and uncomfortable. The difference is that the traumatized child pretends to always be hurt, while the comfort child thinks the purpose of life is to avoid feeling hurt. The comfort child usually has not accessed the deep motivation energies that lead to a life purpose, because they are numb to their own motivations.

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